By Miriam from Nigeria
Something happened to me a few years back, and I decided to give up everything I had achieved so far. I thought that starting over shouldn’t be that difficult. So, with determination—I started planning and setting goals on my own. Coincidently, it was the end of that year and that was just the right timing…or so I thought. I fasted and prayed with all the faith I had in me, hoping my plans would work. Instead, I found myself lost. Nothing was working. My faith was misplaced and misused. I became desperate and very angry at life and with God. Can you imagine that? My prayers turned to whining, complaining, and lashing out at God. I was so consumed with what I wanted Him to do for me; I became angrier at Him for not just yielding to my demands. I was such a brat. During that time, I went through a defeated and depressed period that brought me to a place of total helplessness and finally…surrender.
But you know, I came to the realization that God’s love is really literally unconditional and unexpected. In the midst of my desperation and anger, the first part of Matthew 6:33 popped up on my mind: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” That stuck and wouldn’t go away. That verse woke me up and made me realize that I wasn’t truly seeking God’s kingdom. I had allowed myself to become too familiar with being a “Christian.” I had allowed my desires, wants, and needs to envelope me, and I let myself become demanding instead of obedient toward God.
You know that saying that familiarity breeds contempt?
I had become such a religious person; praying, fasting and reading the Bible, but never taking my religious actions to heart. I was more of a listener of His word than a doer of it. I was so consumed with worldly achievements and impressing people that I stopped involving God in my plans. This brought me to the point where I finally sobered up to my reality and repented. I went through another season of fasting and praying, but this time, it was about asking God what seeking His kingdom first meant. I wanted Him to teach me and I was desperate for it. This was my prayer all through the fast:
“God please show me—please open my eyes to get what You mean in Matthew 6:33. How do I begin to apply that to my life? I want to become that child of Yours who puts You first above all else.”
I separated myself from distractions and stayed with Him in prayer. My focus started shifting, my perspective started changing, my desires started aligning with God’s. I was Interacting with the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to lead, direct, and guide me all the time and I started becoming intentional. THIS WAS AMAZING! Becoming so engrossed in doing God’s will is becoming my life. I can’t say it enough times—THIS IS AMAZING! Life still has its challenges and sometimes can be quite overwhelming, but I am learning to allow God to take care of everything in His own way. What I do intentionally focus on is seeking Him first every moment of every day and staying obedient to Him 100%.
I do not know where you are at in your walk with God, but what can truly make life just flow for you in spite of everything in 2023 and help guide you in your resolutions this year is to:
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:5.
Sending a basket full of joyfulness to you in this New Year!
